[Instrumental Intro]
[Charlie Van Dyke]
Welcome back.
[Alice Cooper]
Oh, Albert's no dummy. [laughter]
[Van Dyke]
Rock star Alice Cooper.
[Cooper]
I remember one night, he got really drunk, and he realized that somewhere in this country, there was maybe one or two radio stations that didn't fit into this whole thing. So what he did was to, uh…uh…
[Albert Brooks]
Oh, I'll—I'll tell it, Alice. What he did—well, what I did—was to devise something that every radio station needs, whether they like me or not, right?
[Charlie Van Dyke]
One thing that every radio station needs is, uh, to identify itsеlf. That's really what station identification is all about.
[Van Dyke]
Narrator Charlie Van Dykе.
[Van Dyke]
So, Mr. Brooks put together a personalized station break that over fourteen thousand radio stations can use if—if they can creatively edit. And to prevent unauthorized, uh, people from, uh-uh, getting ahold of the actual call letters themselves—this is ingenious—he put them through a synthesized Dolby-type laser. And if you're not a radio station, and you try to edit these, then, uh, what happens is you get an electric shock severe enough to kill you. So, just…sit back and enjoy!